Bread with Spread

When you only eat once every three days, every meal is a fucking feast. With no place as home base the past weeks, food has been scarce. I feel like just way too much of mooch when I eat my hosts food, especially when I don’t ask them, so I try not to as much as I can help it. I mean, I’m already bumming around rent-free on the couch, for fuck’s sake. Anyway, I haven’t really been eating is what I’m saying. Mostly a lot of coffee and cigarettes. And beer and cigarettes.

But my new favorite thing to eat might be the hobo delicacy of all hobo delicacies. It’s what I like to call Bread with Spread, and it can find form in so many premium ways. Mayo and mustard sandwich. Toast with butter and banana. Toast with peanut butter, almond butter, apple butter, jam, jelly, fruit preserves, chocolate frosting. Hummus. Guacamole. Fake-cheese-spread-food… God, the list is endless and wonderful.

Anyway, I figure I can pick up a cheap loaf at the store and lug it around in my bag easily enough, and then depending on what types of spreads my hosts have stocked in the fridge, I just shave a little off the top and nobody ever has to know. I mean, who’s gonna notice a few spreads of jam missing? Yeah? Fuckin’ nobody, yeah? I’m in the clear.


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